Alton Brown, the host of the only watchable show on the Food Network these days besides Iron Chef, was interviewed by the Onion AV Club, where he shared this piece of wisdom:
We live in a constantly fracturing culture. You know, when I was a kid, there were three networks, and people had more in common on the streets. Let’s put it this way: We had more in common than not in common. Well, one of the things about the Internet and the culture that’s come out of the Internet is that it’s made people cluster into micro-communities. We’ve become hive-minded. We’ll gather with four people who have something obscure in common with us, like “I macramé squirrels!” or something that’s far less appealing than that. We’ve lost a lot of our commonality.
The fracturing that Brown is talking about is a roadblock that many people encounter while trying to build rapport with others. As personal interests and hobbies get more and more specific, the room for common ground decreases.
When trying to build new interpersonal relationships, it is critical to find some common ground. But with more choices on leisure activities, entertainment and so on, it’s become increasingly difficult for people to really connect.
Last week, an acquaintance asked me if I had seen “the game.” I assumed he was referring to football, one of the last shared cultural experiences this side of American Idol, so I began sharing my excitement over Brett Favre’s crushing defeat of his old team. It turns out my acquaintance was referring to an Australian rugby game.
So in situations where not even some of the most common shared entertainments are safe, how do you find common ground?
You make it.
Besides creating opportunities for shared experiences, you may have to find common ground based on the hobbies and interests of others. If you show an interest in wanting to learn about things that people are passionate about, they usually will help to teach you about them. Not only will you gain deeper interpersonal relationships with others by sharing interests with them, but you may find new things to be passionate about yourself.
In a fracturing culture, there is no way to cover all the cracks. But you can still find a way to connect with others on more levels than just superficial ones.
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